Laika

Procrastination is like a threesome; looks good on paper but hurts like hell in the end. Not that I would know.

Year of the Rat

Yeah, yeah, Happy New Year and stuffs. Speaking of the New Year, very soon our very own Duan Bei Shan (Frank Duan) will be performing at the Civic Arts Plaza in Thousand Oaks, California in a New Years Program. Don't forget to watch him embarrass himself at dancing!

Chinese New Year!

Tomorrow (technically today 'cuz it's already happening in China and Taiwan and Korea [yep, they celebrate their new year on the same day]) is Chinese New Year!

Since Mephisto and I are Taiwanese and Chinese respectively, I just decided to give it a mention.

恭喜發財! 新年快樂!

Lol, 69

Aw, shit, I just fucked it up, didn't I? D: The sheep shall kiill me...

Goeth

Speaking of the esteemed Chef, here is a list of all the comics in which he has appeared so far, in chronological order.

2003-01-24 - Road lines
2003-03-06 - Mumption
2003-05-05 - Not random
2003-06-14 - It's true
2003-07-05 - Aerodynamic
2003-08-13 - The Jedi council weeps
2003-10-11 - Eggs and napalm
2004-02-02 - The dwarf knows
2004-05-15 - The rainbow goes smoosh
2006-02-04 - Dangling elk
2006-10-14 - Dream machine
2007-02-03 - Disease meat for children
2007-09-01 - Bongos
2008-01-05 - Ammonium dioxide

Beware of the galosh.

Chef Brian: UNO

And so my young consumers...it's time for some CHEFFING!

This is a copy-paste from a chat I had with Mephisto.

It is Chef Brian.

10:19 PM me: The weather outside is windy.

One must realize the effects upon the Constitution this has.

For we have not enough socks to lubricate our house foundation.

Kagu-Tsuchi: Could the paper handles of a shopping bag deflect the flow of ammonium nitrate?

me: And one must question:

What would be more effective at foundation lubricatoin?

10:20 PM A left or right sock?

Or one worn on Tuesday but not Thursday?'

Kagu-Tsuchi: I think a left sock and a spider kneecap.

Thus, the fuck will lubricate your house foundation.

me: No, for sthe spider kneecap has no comparison to the camera lens.

10:21 PM Oh dear. A mysterious command prompt window has appeared.

Kagu-Tsuchi: True, but the camera lens may burn the hair off babies.

me: It is for the better.

Makes the babies tastier for the bookstores.

Kagu-Tsuchi: True, but how will the accountants go to the toilet?

10:22 PM me: They shall not. They will end their lives upon a small fishing boat.

10:23 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: That may be true, but no quail eggs show any evidence of raccon poaching.

me: And yet, the window will reveal the truth upon the true nature of the piano string.

Kagu-Tsuchi: But the candle will dampen the quantum effects of a pinecone upon the universe.

10:24 PM me: Yet they will realize the difference between the goose egg and the marmalade.

10:25 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: No, for the servants will tarnish the cutlery with the quartz, will they not?

me: Yet the oil will scream jovially.

Kagu-Tsuchi: No! Leather!

10:26 PM me: Perhaps. One will see if the scissors will function.

Kagu-Tsuchi: Possibly the horses will defecate upon the strawberries for the clothing designers.

10:27 PM me: And yet it is not haute coture enough.

10:28 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Yet the carriage will outrace the sun in its attempt to read.

me: I know not of envelop droppings or moose shavings.

envelope*

10:29 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Mirrors will refract the liquid from the software.

me: Opera.

Kagu-Tsuchi: No, fluoride.

10:30 PM Ferrets will crack your cucumbers for you.

me: Gnomes shall tune your mandelin.

10:31 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Never! They shall conduct the business of folding my breakfast when the dung beetle wears his watch.

me: One must realize the possibility of temporary nomenclature.

10:32 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Mortarboards will dig the pies for the mice.

me: Yet they may prefer grapefruit.

10:33 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: But the stockings shall defeat the cellos.

10:34 PM me: They shall pad the insulation with highlighter.

Kagu-Tsuchi: But needle!

me: A mere dandelion.

Kagu-Tsuchi: The night was pleasingly terrorizing the gates.

10:35 PM me: One will wait to see Troy fall.

Kagu-Tsuchi: Pig's feet will render the tea unconscious.

me: Leaf.

10:36 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: No, but asterisk.

me: It shall raise the bar with the least dropped bananas.

Kagu-Tsuchi: Plums will sleep when they gamble on the coffee!

10:37 PM me: Never! They shall drink the next school built on these grounds!

Kagu-Tsuchi: But one must peel the horse daily!

me: Tender...so tender...

10:38 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Staccato shall heal the satin!

me: Speak! For we wait on your response to our violin consumption hearing.

10:39 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Never! The powdered eraser will not survive the suction.

me: Perhaps it would be better suited to be placed in a telephone.

10:40 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: The teeth eye the ink graciously!

10:41 PM me: Drink epiphany, for it shall consume antennae.

10:42 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: The pillar will not walk upon the hacksaw!

me: The pupil will betray.

Kagu-Tsuchi: Never, for the old at spectacle will study the frames.

10:43 PM me: Developmental disabilities will help.

Kagu-Tsuchi: Assets, my dear Watson, assets of the gray.

me: But one shall seek butter. And then more.

Kagu-Tsuchi: And then the salesman will whine for the fox.

10:44 PM me: We are on the hunt!

10:45 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: The buckets will empty silicon goblets before long, my friend.

me: We shall see if the sky shall open.

Kagu-Tsuchi: LEDs shall decimate the remaining torch population, however.

10:46 PM me: Yet, cheek bubble.

10:47 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: Parabolic crosses may fear those of wicker tables.

me: Never fear it until you eat!

10:48 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: The scent of pewter manure will distinguish the sepia from the hair.

me: Yet ramble we shall.

10:49 PM Kagu-Tsuchi: The winds will catch the potatoes from the egotism, friend.

10:51 PM Why has no butterfly reached the roots yet?

10:52 PM me: Tastebuds. That is the answer.

Kagu-Tsuchi: That cannot be improbable. Uniforms will desist!

10:54 PM And poof! The hiss remembers!

me: No!

Train of thought

..An da the page is shiny white..white like sheep. Soft, soft fleece mixed on a bed of goat cheese, which is smelly like your mom. Lame jokes abound online like Narutards on deviantART. Did I mention I ruv dA anyways? Anyways, I wonder if this typing position will give me carpal tunnel. Carpet tunnel, like a rolled-up rug? Bugs in rugs scare me. Do insectoid aliens exist? Or living velociraptors? Velociraptors are liek RAUR and liek teeths and clauz and stuffs, rait? Lolcats are funny...they can haz cheezburgrz. There is no burger. The fork pwns the spoon. Why is it called spooning? Wouldn't forking be more correct? Hehe, forks. Like sleeping legs. Why do we stab them?


~Mephisto