Celebrities.

A few words on celebrity gossip. What the fucking hell? They're fucking people, leave them alone.
So, what do you do when some fucktard goes around yelling OMGSPAZZMILEYCYRUSISPREGNANT??!!?!?!?! Kick them in the balls if they're a disgrace to men, and pussy punt them if they're women. If they're still conscious, land a good ol' one-two to the face, and scream "WHO THE FUCK CARES," in their ear.
Still conscious? Weakling. Slap them around the face; most likely they'll be on the floor by now. Good, now slam your heel somewhere. Face, neck, chest, balls again, take your pick. Crushing fingers is acceptable too. And remember, kids, it's not just you, you're saving the rest of sane society from these asses.